- It’s so early. Why is it so early?
- How am I meant to function at this hour? Can I bring my duvet to work?
- Thank you to whatever genius made office kitchens with endless coffee and tea provisions a thing. Today you are my god.
- Shit, what’s my password? I should really write this stuff down.
- This isn’t so bad, I don’t have that many unread emails.
- Oh wait, it’s still loading. Fuck. There’s millions.
- Please dear god, let my voicemail folder be empty at least.
- I really hope someone notices my new shoes. I am looking fab today, let’s not lie to ourselves.
- I wonder what fad diet everyone is trying out this week.
- I heard 2016 was the year everyone goes gluten free. Maybe it’s that.
- I knew I should have worn a jumper. This office is so cold. I feel like my nipples could cut glass.
- I hope no one can see my nipples.
- Maybe I’ll just spend the whole day with my arms crossed while I adjust to British weather again.
- Is it acceptable to propose after-work drinks tonight when it’s not even 10 o’clock yet?
- Right, let’s make a to-do list. Get organised. Hit the ground running.
- Wow, how long was I away? How do I have this much to do?
- Have I always been this busy? What’s with all the meetings?
- In fact, what even is my job? I feel like I’ve forgotten everything.
- Current count of people asking me how my holiday was: 15.
- Maybe I should just send out an office-wide email telling everyone I had a great time so I stop repeating myself.
- I’m so hungry. Is it too early to have a snack?
- More importantly, where should I go for lunch?
- I mean, I know I brought in a sandwich but I really like the pastries at that one place.
- Ugh, I can’t stop thinking about the food at that café opposite my hotel.
- Maybe I should just write a travel blog about food for a living. Now that would be the dream.
- Is that even a job people get paid to do?
- I wonder how many holiday days I have left now.
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